we’ve cycled through these stories before…..

take me with you...

Awake

Waking today

just before winter

when I try to name the color of grasses,

how I feel of their beauty,

there is no word.

I think of the time before there were

words

when you would know morning mist

by the feel

of your loved one’s skin & hair,

& when someone came from the forest

of dry leaves

you would know by their scent

even if they carried no wood.

Or the heat of their body skin in summer.

Or if they came the winding way

down from the mountains

they would be covered in cloud

returning to the fold

or if they had gone farther, to the ocean,

you’d know them by their far-seeing eyes,

& when some travelers return

& are shining with light

you know, without saying, that they

have been

in touch with other worlds.

I have no wealth to speak of

other than this,

all this, just to praise the dry grasses

& their color that can’t be spoken

in words.

….Linda Hogan

there seems to be a deeper story to be told just under the surface of things….like polishing stones…we find our essential self when we allow the natural cycles of our lives to renew us…our continuity is trustworthy….

Under every deep a lower deep opens.

….Ralph Waldo Emerson

we seek…..

The story within & beneath the familiar story is almost always full of insight & possibility. It may take courage to go another level down, to abandon clarity, however illusory, for an unknown period of confusion & puzzlement. Our habitual stories usually protect us from the mystery of our lives. Whenever a story puts an end to reflection & further storytelling, that story is now serving as a defense. The poetics in a person’s story is its opening toward insight…..Thomas Moore

the peephole reveals the other side….just a little distorted….

the kissing fields

The Soul should always stand ajar

That if the heaven inquire

He will not be obliged to wait

Or shy of troubling Her

Depart, before the Host have slid

The Bolt unto the Door-

To search for the accomplished Guest,

Her Visitor, no more-

….Emily Dickinson

these doors we peer in to seek our own cosmos, complete with its sensitive vernacular…..rich & studded with labels, eternities, & infinite imagination….tentatively reveling in the heart….& at times the abandon we seek by slipping through an unguarded door doesn’t reveal the spontaneity we had dreamed to find on the other side….we still wear the same clothes, fit in the same molds, & drink our coffee at dawn….

was it the door of iniquity? or simply the desire to shed skin?

the breathless, childlike ways endure….

So, dear Sir, I can’t give you any advice but this: to go into yourself & see how deep the place is from which your life flows; at its source you will find the answer to the question of whether you must create. Accept that answer, just as it is given to you, without trying to interpret it. For the creator must be a world for himself & must find everything in himself & in Nature, to whom his whole life is devoted…..Rilke

the threshold between regret & soul light

unlocking soul light

……….The Bright Field……..

I have seen the light break through

to illuminate a small field

for a while & gone my way

& forgotten it. But that was the pearl

of great prize, the one field that had

the treasure in it. I realize now

that I must give all that I have

to possess it. Life is not hurrying

on to a receding future nor hankering after

an imagined past. It is the turning

aside like Moses to the miracle

of the lit bush. To a brightness

that seems as transitory as your youth

once, but is the eternity that awaits you.

….R. S. Thomas

our exile creeps up on us with regrets…..showing us the leaky places in our compassionate awareness of ourselves….where does the light hurt? what inner quantitative battle wrenches us away from gentle belonging?

there is a warm light in the window of home…..there is a cool light down the next road….& there is a sweet, hot, neon light in a battered soul…

soul light found in the old crevices of living in the bones…

Beauty is a light that comes from the soul. This is the place in the soul that is eternal. Your time here always inhabits the circle of your soul. All your time is gathered, & your future time waits here for you. Your time is the deeper seed of the eternity that is waiting to welcome you. The soul is the natural shelter around your life. Part of this wisdom of spiritual soulful self-presence is to be able to let certain aspects of your life alone………John O’Donohue

the depth of our roots….

look up

When I detect a beauty in any of the recesses of nature, I am reminded by the serene & retired spirit in which it requires to be contemplated, of the inexpressible privacy of life; how silent & unambitious it is. The beauty there in mosses will have to be considered from the holiest, quietest nook…..Henry David Thoreau

we are ensconced in sunshine….rooted….digging….swooning in fragrant air….that sweet crunch of boots on twigs & leaves may be the remedy to many disappointments….holding us gently when we need it most…

just being outside….& yet how often are we inside looking out? this awareness of our awareness is lost indoors..

 Everyone searches desperately for happiness, but the price we must pay for it is generosity. When we are born, we are born among a kind of beauty & richness. Every leaf of a tree is a work of art.  A miracle…the path is difficult. The search for beauty is without end, but it is life-giving……Frederic Back

the within of us is the within of us with feet on earth…..an inevitable extension defining who we really are…rooted within earth….
our sweet holy earth…

fall in love everyday & why being rational is overrated

the glow

Seeing the ordinary world clearly is a source of raw material & inspiration. Strangely enough, you don’t need to learn how to be artistic. It is as natural as breathing & the beating of your heart. Nevertheless, natural artistry is often inaccessible because it is concealed. A good analogy is the way the sun constantly radiates light even though you can’t always see it. Artistry arises from mind’s natural wakefulness, creativity, & humor when the obstacles are cleared away. Before you can learn to remove the clouds, you need to understand their nature…..A. Karr & M. Wood

this is why we laugh at ourselves, play outside, fall in love everyday, & eat ice cream…

Beyond rational & critical thinking, we need to be called again. This can lead to the discovery of a ‘second naivete,’ which is a return to the joy of our first naivete, but now totally new, inclusive, & mature thinking…..Paul Ricoeur

 return to joy….

the palpable silence of the unknowable

simplicity in stillness

Silence turns out to be not the absence of sound but a presence in its own right, always there, noticed only when we become quiet. And how rich the silence is when we come in through the doorway of a particular kind of agenda-free attention. Silence proves to be full of subtle & intrinsically rewarding sounds that grow ever more absorbing as the mind settles, words are forgotten, & names drop away, no longer important. Whenever we find our way into such a silence, it is a little like remembering a child’s kind of trust in what is happening, in which whatever we are sensing begins to recover an original strong autonomy. We’re not focused on past memories or what we already know. The feeling of being in control can graciously give way to a more mature possibility of resting in what is, no longer mentally demanding how we want it to be…..Susan Murphy

the ethereal silence surrounding our heart is our purest reality….a calling of our deepest roots….when we sit, we are permeated by a new kind of grounding….rooting & emerging….this may be our most elusive practice….the most difficult to enter deeply…

in silence we hear all of these concepts as tangible realities scooping us up in the hands of deepest calm…..existence, awareness, prayer, mercy, essence, waiting….

Ever abiding within & without, overlaid with the mutable patchwork garment we know as this visible universe, silence forms the woof & warp of all things seen & unseen. To the mystic, silence is the ground, the core of reality…John Roger Barrie

echoes…. 

making the journey our own

golden journeys

Spiritual direction is largely about listening. To hear requires that we slow down & make space both in our schedules & within our hearts to create a receiving place. Listening demands we grow quiet, so that we might encounter the essence of things. This practice is a way to go beyond the rational, chattering, divisive mind & feel the language of connection. Practices that ground me in the stunning plains of silence & the vast river of the imagination help me to cultivate a stance of openness & wonder to what the world around might be revealing in a given moment. This deep rootedness in the rhythm of my breath, which draws me to the present moment, creates a space in which I can begin to observe my own inner dynamics with a curious & compassionate heart. The art that emerges from this inner space is an authentic expression of the movements of my soul….Christine Valters Paintner

what a statement of confidence….wow….lots of quiet time required there….inquiring why we’re not in that space though is an equally valid way to create our own defintion of where we are, why we are, & ulitmately defines ‘how much’ we need to understand….

this can be a pitfall of a spiritual journey….another way we perceive ourselves ‘not measuring up’…..

such a beautiful mantra, yes?….lots of ‘soul movement’ & self-expression becoming clear by ‘allowing space’….but beware….make sure you define your own journey….

I find the most exquisite ‘soul movement’ in the unlikeliest of places….

those spaces of catching the light in the window….the silence late at night….the quiet produce aisle…stirring a pot of soup….that little dance & twirl when I think of something funny….

this of course is more about living a creative life than having a creative life; what I would call ‘pure imagination’….

Our relentless human search for new ways of being & relating, our dreams of beauty, our longings for mercy & justice, these are exercises of the imagination….

Wendy Wright

dance into mystery….

blooming into our lens…

moving with perspective

photography as a life lesson…

As you practice, there will be ups & downs. You will experience flashes of color & get so excited that you start shooting away, forgetting all about visual discernment & forming the equivalent. As you get wound up, you might think that everything you notice is a flash of perception & fire away at everything that you see. On the other hand, you could go for quite a while without experiencing any flashes & get frustrated, thinking you will never be able to see anything at all. This is practice. Practice means learning to work with all of these states of mind. One way to reduce the emotional swings is to linger a little over each shot. Try to find a balance between being too tight & being too loose….

Andy Karr & Michael Wood

seeing is a gateway….we forget to pay attention..our vision narrows…..

reminds me of walking meditation….with a camera in hand….

Photography students often complain that their photograph of a sunset did not at all translate into the image. I tell them it’s not that there is anything wrong with the image. It’s just that they were photographing only one aspect of their experience; what they could see. We are usually only dimly aware, if we’re aware at all, of the converging of information from our senses when we experience an event. This is why whole body & mind seeing is so important. When we make direct contact with reality, we go beyond an ordinary way of seeing, of being, & touch the sacred dimension of our lives…..John Daido Loori

discover your new perspective blooming in red…

mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the wisest of them all?

sleeping softly

peek into your mirror so that you may see…..may witness…

may engage with time…

There is no place to search for the truth. Though it’s right beneath your feet, it can’t be found. Look at springtime……when the snow has melted, the scars of the landscape are no longer hidden…John Daido Loori

this mysterious countenance, this reverie of communion between body & mind….unearths our artistic charms disguised as longing…

One day passes & another day comes along, & everything happens the same. But basically, we are so afraid of the brilliance coming at us, & the sharp experience of our life, that we can’t even focus our eyes…..Chogyam Trungpa

can’t you feel that dazzling array of rapture & disillusionment…taunting & dissolving into openings….maybe we call it our spiritual path, our neuroses, our character flaws, our alternative flair….

when we wake up it’s all different….there’s a steadiness, a simple okness, a face we can ‘see’ in the mirror…maybe even laugh a little at our absurdities….enjoy simple pleasures…

revel in the connection between sensual & ethereal…

the deeper cry for wholeness….

water & wood

Floral muscle,

Little by little open

Morning meadow’s anemone

Til in her lap

The polyphonous light

Of sounding skies

Radiates.

In the quiet blossom’s star, flexed,

Muscle of infinite receptivity

Often so overwhelmed with fullness

That the sunset’s call to rest

Can hardly return to you

The wide-relaxed petals:

You, the firmness & fortitude

Of many worlds.

We are violent

And stay around longer

But when, in which of all our lives,

will we finally open up

and become receptive?

….Rilke

this secret that our heart whispers to us now & again….whispering sweet nothings about what lies beyond us….whispering a calling beyond the self-possession….beyond imagination….

this secret is about ‘abandonment to the nature of things’….released into the celestial life….a transcendency of our rollicking tides into something wild….our own blooming summers…fully anticipated & realized….

This is the ongoing purpose of full attention: to find a thousand ways to be pierced into wholeness…Mark Nepo

  within the cloud of unknowing…

The Zen experience is more of a conclusion than a premise. It is never to be used as the first step in a line of metaphysical reasoning, since conclusions draw to it rather than from it. Like the Beatific Vision of Christianity, it is a ‘which than which there is not whicher’- the true end of man- not a thing to be used for some other end. Like the Curucifixion, it is to the Jews a stumblingblock & the Greeks foolishness. To say that ‘everything is the Tao’ almost gets the point, but just at the moment of getting it, the words crumble into nonsense. For we are here at a limit at which words break down because they always imply a meaning beyond themselves- & here there is no meaning beyond…..Alan Watts