you know where to hide

Awakenings feel like our heart is breaking and being pieced back together again at the same time. It feels like all the parts of ourselves are at war and they are inviting us to come along for the ride. It feels like we are caught between this person we say we want to be and the person we are right now (who is a complete mess!). It can feel wretched one minute and like we are on cloud nine the next. Sometimes, it just feels sloooooooow.

And then, in the middle of the awakening, something happens. A flash of a fresh perspective that shifts the entire world on its axis, a rush of love to the heart that makes us grab our chest and catch our breath, someone telling us that we matter, an old wound that finally, finally heals. Something releases. Something surrenders. There is a softening where there was once a hard place. There are moments that feel like we are being hit by a ton of bricks and knocked over by a feather at the same time.

Awakenings tear us open. They expose all the yucky stuff, the shameful stuff, the secrets, the dreams that were never given a voice, the relationships that imprison us, the words left unsaid. Awakenings are a mirror we can’t turn away from, even in our ugliest, most tattered gown. 

The truth of who we are is not in how well we can contort ourselves into who the world says we are allowed to be. The truth of who we are is when we stop contorting. When we stop making excuses. When we stop lying to ourselves that we are satisfied when we are not. When we stop believing that all the beautiful experiences in life are reserved for other people.

Awakenings allow us to realize all the ways we make ourselves small. All the ways we try to fit ourselves into other people’s rules, limitations, and beliefs. All the ways we have rejected ourselves and not honored our own wisdom.

We change when we realize that there must be another way. When our inner truth is so loud that we can’t find any more excuses or distractions to turn the volume down.

We must answer the call. We owe it to ourselves.

~Elizabeth Gordon

how will it be to turn away from the openings that help you forget?

inquiry for today~ notice the tiny movements from one situation to the next…….not so much in the big aha moments, but the mundane choices…

your very own sanctuary

An awake heart is like a sky that pours light.

~Hafiz

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