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St. Teresa of Avila once compared the soul to a silkworm. She wrote,

It is necessary for the silkworm to die. Let’s be quick to do this work & weave this little cocoon……Let it die; let this silkworm die, as it does in completing what it was created to do…A little white butterfly comes forth. Oh, greatness of God!….Truly I tell you that the soul doesn’t recongnize itself.

Like letting balloons go….or caving in……

They are the same in their paradox of ‘die to become.’

And what about the waiting? Sue Monk Kidd writes…

How do we create the threads that hold us in the painful, uncertain, solitary darkness of waiting…and hold us not only in the waiting but through the waiting? If we’re to wait, we must relearn the extravagance of grace.

Waiting for what? Inspiration? Holy divination? More time?

This little tininess, this choking, this uncertainty is………..probably not real.

Maybe I’ll dust off my wings while I wait…maybe I’ll get my fortune read.

The artist need not know very much; best of all let him work  instinctively & paint as naturally as he breathes or walks…….Emil Nolde

Will continue to sit in the doorway……letting balloons go one at a time….watching the sky as they get smaller & smaller….creating all the while…… considering my fortune…..waiting…..

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