Growing older, I am more drawn to not knowing than to being a know it all.
More able to discern ceaseless change from true transformation.
Opening deeply to the truth of our own aging is wise.
Although the opening may not come easily at first.
The energy involved in resisting the truth of aging can keep us confined, small,
and limit the experience of living.
Distract us from the simple joy of being here in this ever-fresh moment.
As my friends and I age, questions emerge.
Will we allow the same old habits of our self to hijack these precious later years of our life?
Will we meet whatever challenges or diminishment arise
with countless attempts to deny and manipulate?
“Will we live out our aging with the attention-grabbing habit of victimhood,
the bitterness of self-pity, or the paralysis of bewilderment”?
In aging, dying and in meditation practice, the movement from chaos to surrender sometimes occurs,
as a choice but more often as a result of exhaustion, world weariness, or disenchantment.
It can also emerge through a growing compassion for ourselves,
that we have lived such cramped, alienated lives.
One older woman, contemplating what she wished to do with her last years shared
that she was sick of having judgment control every aspect of her experience.
A 40-year-old woman very dear to me, told me that after years of comparison
she is now finally referring to her body as “My Beloved.”
~Frank Ostaseski
the beating of my heart right now…
inquiry for today~ who is your beloved?
There is something wonderfully bold and liberating
about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.
With even a glimmer of that possibility, joy rushes in.
~Tara Brach
Make Believe Boutique 