when weary is not enough

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Like the lotus in muddy water, our wish to be better people grows among our many worldly desires. Just look at the wanting itself. That is the gate. The desire for a more beautiful life is ancient and enduring. In medieval times it meant dressing in bright silks and having long and colorful processions; the desire was poured into objects, too into paintings and cathedrals with stained-glass windows. Inside the desire for a more beautiful life is the desire for a more beautiful character. We all have the urge to be better people, and behind all our self-improvement there is a profound impulse. Self-improvement is a gateway, the first step in a quest, a clue to a deeper life. The most beautiful form of the beautiful life is inner freedom the awakening taught in the ancient spiritual traditions. The spiritual path starts with a simple impulse like this. We can start anywhere, go through any gate. We begin by noticing, by becoming curious about reality. ‘What do I want?’ is a gate. That’s what a spiritual path is, a series of queries about reality. It’s not an admonition……..John Tarrant

we should not forget to trust in the world around us, in our own intuition and in the disciplines of practice and deep values…..this does not mean feeding our vanity and a new-age tendency toward pedantic ego-sliding….deep knowing is in the fragile bones and the delicate wings….deep knowing is the courage to peek up into the equally fragile night…..

Left to our own devices, many of us find that our spiritual practice doesn’t deepen. We try all kinds of things to wake ourselves up. Like dharma tourists, we chase after different spiritual teachers. We sit weekend retreats. We practice daily. We listen to CD’s and read books. We do cleanses and work with healers. Sometimes. when we are in the presence of a spiritual teacher, we may feel we understand the practice of meditation, but when we get home that understanding eludes us. In our culture, we have a certain affinity for doing things our own way and for doing things that have never been done before. This is just the sort of impractical attitude that can cause obstacles in our dharma practice, because if we were to follow methods other than those taught and practiced by the lineage holders, we would have no idea what the results of our practice would be. Whether we are on the path of sutra or tantra, we benefit from being certain of our practice, being certain of the instructions for our practice, and being certain of the way the practice should unfold when done correctly. When we’ve developed certainty, we become a practical practitioner, because we become mindful and cognizant of our entire experience and our progress on the path. Realization is only possible if it is based on both intellectual certainty and experiential certainty……Anyen Rinpoche

birds preen and skitter by

Brightly Colored Boats Upturned

on the Banks of the Charles…

What is there to say about them

that has not been said in the title?

I saw them near dawn from a glassy room

on the other side of that river,

which flowed from some hidden spring

to the sea; but that is getting away from

the brightly colored boats upturned

on the banks of the Charles,

the sleek racing sculls of a college crew team.

They were beautiful in the clear early light-

red, yellow, blue and green-

is all I wanted to say about them,

although for the rest of the day

I pictured a lighter version of myself

calling time through a little megaphone,

first to the months of the year,

then to the twelve apostles, all grimacing

as they leaned and pulled on the long wooden oars.

……Billy Collins

4 thoughts on “when weary is not enough

  1. I’ll often sit in a quiet revelation with a book in hand feling I have found a great truth, that a wisdom has washed over and through me, and as quickly as a summer storm it moves on, and I am alone again in the ego, seeking again. Is it simply that? That the ego awash in duality separates us from bliss because of perception, when the truth is all is bliss, when we define it through ego, we lose it in the seeking … Is this then the paradox of being? may you paradoxes dissolve in the noon day sun today …

    • hmmmm…..maybe it is not the truth we seek, but rather the expression of that truth….our forgetting is the way we see…..a paradox of full expansion……thank you for this intriguing vantage, like seeing the sky from the cellar…..bliss to you in glimpses g.f.s…..

  2. Though a bit off topic, the initial post reminded me of a conversation last week in which someone asked if I had ever used quills or a fountain pen for writing. My response was that I had – I’ve used both, and at one time, I also kept elaborate fanciful journals with gilded edges to write in. It was a deception of thought that somehow I felt I needed them in order to write. In time, I found that I didn’t need those things or even the right kind of paper. I only needed the desire to write, a place for the words to spill, and an understanding that ego only speaks if I allow him to. Yes, I seek always to grow – to blossom in new colors. But I refuse to believe that this (this one) is not exactly as it should be and so I let it wash me time and again. Maybe (for me), growth has more to do with allowing, accepting and loving than in uncovering some new truth. Maybe always I am becoming a new truth. ~ Let the rains fall in colors of remember me. I absolutely love how you inspire us to think, to reach, to be still. ~ Love, Bobbie

    • those pretty things hide the raw beauty of your deepest treasures…..so full of light is the fierce beginning you bring to this knowing…..fresh, cool, and yes, still…..in humble listening to these delicate truths, I am anew……simply move pen on page Bobbie……

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