the beautiful muck of our lives

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 Most people don’t grow up. Most people age.

They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards,

get married, have children, and call that maturity.

What that is, is aging.

….. Maya Angelou

we do well to take heed and guard our precious beingness, our curiosity & inner fire… rest in the fearless heart takes us on a wild ride…..may we know our unique truths…

Life is a funny thing. As children, we play. As adults, we work. In between we develop relationships, raise families, pursue goals and pause every once in a while, attempting to gain some perspective on the whole thing. Before we know it, we are retired and approaching the end of our lives, wondering, where did the time go? Throughout this process, it is impossible not to learn. Experience is the greatest teacher. And yet, there are so many of us who will end our lives still subject to the same core tendencies that we developed in early childhood. And, while it is these very personality traits that make us ‘who we are’, they also hold us back in numerous ways. In order for true growth to take place, an honest ability to reflect on oneself and one’s place in the world must be developed. Only then, after true contemplation has taken place, is it possible to integrate this understanding into our behavior and see real maturity arise, real actions in the world that one would call wise. Yet the modern world makes this very hard. We are so busy holding down jobs, keeping marriages together, paying the bills and raising kids that any time for true self-development is lost. Society assures us, of course, that it is these very things that make us adults, but if that was the case, would we still be seeing such high levels of depression and divorce, health problems and school-shootings? Are these the markings of a truly ‘mature’ society? Obviously not. In the true order of things it is not ‘playing by the rules’ that makes you a mature individual, but the recognition of a much deeper set of rules, and their development in the self……

where is the heart of your life?

Finding our way into the answers.

We cannot solve the problems we face with the same sort of thinking that created them. We cannot be so certain of which path to take. We must all become beginners. We are slowly cracking and breaking the outer shell (ego) in order to reveal the true. We have never been here before. We are brand new.

So, as I sit shaking in my boots at the mere thought of all this change — of these paradigm shifts that are unseen in any lifetime before ours — I keep reminding myself, always be a beginner, always realize there is something to learn, always remember that you know far less than you think.

Be a novice. Be a blank page. Be embryonic in your sense of yourself. You are just learning the steps. You are just starting out. It is okay to be stupid or blind or to not have the answers. It is okay to be wrong, to make mistakes, to muck it all up. This is all part of the process of becoming. Of enlightenment. Of living.

Love it all.

The confusion. The mess. The raw, red rims of your eyes. Love the experience of being born. Love the experience of watching the old way of life die. Watch everything burn. Watch everything go. Don’t be afraid.

This. This is how you find your way. You don’t notice the changes as they come. You just wake up, one bright morning — sky the color of robin’s eggs — and you realize that you are there. And you open the door and smell the restless air and say a prayer of profound thanks.

Love your life. It’s all you really have.

…..Shavawn M. Berry

2 thoughts on “the beautiful muck of our lives

  1. My husband resists the urge to take me very far into the mountains. At every curve, I want to stop. At every stream, I insist on taking off my shoes and plunging my toes into the icy depths…….. This (THIS) is our calling, to remember the song of heart, the longing meant only for the soul. ❤ Sigh* I love this, blue.

    • a true daydreamer….a calling as deep as the starlight….I so know the way of wandering and gathering and drifting….all within the grit of the everyday…..may your meanderings always soothe the outer layers Bobbie….

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