another way in

When you come out of the storm

you won’t be the same person that walked in.

That’s what the storm is all about.

~Haruki Murakami

when I remember those long ago days filled with answers…..

inquiry for today~ now and then, you may notice a little longing…..

a needy-kind-of-love

My whole life, too close to the urge to fly, unsure, even now, what it means for a heart to fly. Over and over, I try to glimpse what’s revealed when we hold nothing back, compelled to merge with what I see. And so, the dream, the ascent, the burning moment of Oneness, the burning up, the fall, the crumbling into ash, the despair, the beginning again. And those of you kind enough to love me along the way, you’ve known me oddly by the part of the cycle in which you found me: as a dreamer, a rising star, a brief selfless light, as someone burning up, or broken and smoldering, as someone lost, or searching again for what it all means. When clear enough or broken enough, I can see you in your cycle.

Sometimes it takes years but when we bump into each other at the liquor store or at Lens-Crafters searching for new frames, we find each other somewhat different or undone. Sometimes–I can tell–you think I’m pretending to be other that I am, when I’m just in a different part of my cycle. Now you think I’m standing too close. I just want to compare notes. I just want to understand how you’ve turned into a flower or a bird with one wing. As for me, I now think the heart is a red fish gulping its way through a sea of light. But what’s this all feel like for you? I confess that I’ve worn out so many selves, it seems useless to go by any one name. Still, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s left me raw and humbles. I know now that love is the ability to hold someone through all their changes, not too tightly but the way the sky holds the sun. Knowing the unalterable spot beneath our current face is where God kissed us into being.

~Mark Nepo

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