Stay, I said
to the cut flowers.
their heads lower.
Stay, I said to the spider,
embarrassed for me and itself.
Stay, I said to my body.
It sat as a dog does,
obedient for a moment,
soon starting to tremble.
Stay, to the earth,
of riverine valley meadows,
of fossiled escarpments,
of limestone and sandstone.
It looked back
with a changing expression,
Stay, I said to my loves.
when are we completely ourselves? how do we surrender? what does it mean to honor one’s integrity? where are our bones hollowed out, to be filled with trust? is it about endurance, or mindfulness? may we remember one moment of self-forgiveness today…
There is Thomas Merton’s famous prayer, the beginning of which reads, ‘My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me.’ You can look up the rest. There is a beautiful prayer a friend’s Jewish mother wrote and taught me, which I swear by:
Help for the sick and hungry,
home for the homeless folk,
peace in the world forever.
This is my prayer, O lord. Amen.
I wrote one that will do in a pinch:
I am just a mess.
It is all hopeless.
What else is new?
I would be sick of me, if I were You,
but miraculously You are not.
I know I have no control over other people’s
lives, and I hate this. Yet I believe that if I
accept this and surrender, You will meet me
wherever I am.
Wow. Can this be true? If so, how is this
afternoon- say, two-ish?
Thank You in advance for Your company
You have never once let me down.
Beautiful pre-assembled prayers- like the Merton, the Twenty-third Psalm- have saved me more times than I can remember. But they are for special occasions. They are dressier prayers, the good china of prayers, used when I have my wits about me enough a) to remember that they exist, and b) to get into a state of trust. This would be approximately seven percent of the time. Most good, honest prayers remind me that I am not in charge, that I cannot fix anything, and that I open myself to being helped by something……Anne Lamott
Fruition implies that at some future time you will feel good. One of the most powerful Buddhist teachings is that as long as you are wishing for things to change, they never will. As long as you’re wanting yourself to get better, you won’t. As long as you are oriented toward the future, you can never just relax into what you already have or already are. One of the deepest habitual patterns that we have is the feeling that the present moment is not good enough. Instead of looking for fruition, we could just try to stay with our open heart and open mind. By entering into this kind of unconditional relationship with ourselves, we can begin to connect with the awake quality that we already have…..Pema Chodron