Questioning everything doesn’t mean that doubt and mistrust are your constant companions. It’s this optimist’s way of getting through every day. It’s how I have been able to (mostly) avoid feeling down, depressed, burned-out, disillusioned, disenchanted. Every morning I question things in my life. Sometimes the questions are big, existential. Why should I get out of bed at all? Why don’t I commit suicide today? What’s the point of… anything, really? But more often, they are more practical questions, because in life, both devils and angels are in the details. My soul does not always give me positive, happy answers. And that’s not what I’m looking for. I’m training myself to obtain better clarity and to align my perspective with what nourishes my soul. This questioning elevates my humanness, not because everything is perfect or should be, but because I better understand my own imperfection and the imperfection of others, I become more compassionate with myself and thus with others. This is not a purely selfish pursuit. And the result is that I make a decision about the things in my life every day. I don’t live on auto-pilot. I don’t need to hide, pretend, escape. Whatever I do, want to do, or have to do every day, I do with pleasure because I love it. With acceptance, because I realize I cannot change it right now. With conviction, because I believe in it. With strength, because I’m getting to know myself better……Fadwa Al Qasem
being real is never exclusive of doubt, but doubt has the power to move us forward, to empower the inner knowing, to invigorate with fierce compassion and a new release of fear…
Dear Brave Souls… remember the motto for fullest life is not…
‘I can’t invest in myself; I can’t do x or y.’ That just creates an inner dull-war in which ‘right and light’ give a global and premature surrender.
People ask me, how did you… do… whatever, write books, go to school, raise family, befriend others, care for my elders.
‘How?’ is the right question. Not, “if if, if.” Not even so much, ‘why why why?’
Thereby my motto is not, “I cannot meet the calling… it is instead only this simple question… How can I meet the challenge? How, how, how? That practice of strengthening and creating anew, non-derivatively, time and again is lifelong daily practice– in the interstices… and the point is to keep going, keep going toward the La Voz, the goodness of Voice that asks to be made more visible for the souls of our world. I believe we all hear La Voz in our own ways. Heeding that voice and asking how how how, is where the wheels gain traction, even in sand.
There is no year of answering The Heart of the World, without blood, not without sweat… and tears often enough also– were I to change the metaphor, I’d say I’ve often been in utterly bedraggled state whilst lurching across the finish line, and like, I hope, a committed long distance runner, going right back into training again, for the next and the next long, long run, whatever the call is, whenever it comes, over whichever terrain given, not chosen. Not ‘I cant…’ Rather, ‘how how how?’…how to hang on, how to make it through this death canyon, how to go long without water, how to push past the ‘i cannot’ point, how to use one’s mind when there is no more flesh to use, no more resource left. All those remedies through and more, come from ‘how, how, how?’– never from “I cant…”
Was it always this way on /in my heart? No, too many times through the crusher sent straight to hells– enough said— and what changed finally finally, finally? I drank the sweet meade of truth and lived away… made the long and painful trek, shedding what needed be shed, taking up what needed taking up… and doggedly is not too strong a word, walking, limping, sliding, climbing, falling, breaking, mending… back to what is The Eighth Direction: The Away, back to True Home. This is just a love letter to all the earth angels, which means you and the majority of souls on earth, to say… you were born in a Magnitude of mind, spirit, heart, body and soul. Live it. Do not smallify yourselves……Clarissa Pinkola Estes
There’s the study, the work and the persistence, but the most difficult thing of all is to nurture your own voice, your own life experience — that which makes you different from others.
Don’t be afraid of that voice. Don’t be afraid of what others will think. Honor that which makes you different. Hone that skill, that diving down into whatever. Into the sacred quiet……Roderick MacIver