the unsettled & brittle spaciousness

1-DSC05027

This is it for the state and temperament of the wavering, thinking mind.

The anxiety, the gnawing fear, the palpable, dark and messy resistance to being seen and being loved, is here to stay.

The cloud will always interrupt with its shadow, the shaky sensation of overwhelm, of not enough, of make it better, make it perfect, or at the very least, make it go away, is not a force to be reckoned with, but one to be accepted, one to be curious about, one to ride until it’s present becomes pure presence itself.

It means Stop. Stop chasing, doing, pushing and desperately seeking a way to improve, to find a way to break free of an emotion or an experience. To outsmart, outwit, out-drug the sensations of life, the duality of being alive, letting it be raw, real, vulnerable and exposed, just as it is.

What if all sources of light were, first and foremost, purveyors of darkness?…..Ali Van Putten

when we are exceptionally tired and distraught, it may happen to be that we forget to understand, forget to breathe deeply, forget who we are, forget why we are……it is here, that the numbness begins…..and the bravery is simply in being honest and present….blessed be….

The journey toward our beauty is a magnificent struggle. Achieving an integrity between what we believe and how we live is a challenge worthy of the gift of life. A thousand obstacles stand between ourselves and the honoring of our truth. A thousand distractions. A thousand ego-generated delusions. To dive down, find the beauty, nurture it, and offer it to the world is magnificent. Staying with your beauty, your truth, your integrity is difficult, but out of these things comes meaning, and meaning is all-transcendent……..Roderick MacIver

 through the sludge

That we go numb along the way is to be expected. Even the bravest among us, who give their lives to care for others, go numb with fatigue, when the heart can take in no more, when we need time to digest all we meet. Overloaded and overwhelmed, we start to pull back from the world, so we can internalize what the world keeps giving us. Perhaps the noblest private act is the unheralded effort to return: to open our hearts once they’ve closed, to open our souls once they’ve shied away, to soften our minds once they’ve been hardened by the storms of our day…….Mark Nepo

2 thoughts on “the unsettled & brittle spaciousness

  1. I think we’ve all come to that place, where the heart isn’t sure it wants to be healed. In that time, nothing reaches us…..the small talk of no consequence, and the big talk….too big. Know you are loved…….. ❤

    • these times are easily denied and buried with ‘nicer’ emotions…..in honor of the uglies and the nuances of fear and shadows…..love love love Bobbie….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s