a good death to lean into


An elderly friend asked me one day when we wandered through a church garden and it started to rain what 3 things I would share with her young relative who fears death, as she knows I view death mostly as a significant change of address.

The 1st thing I told her is that I have been on hand to help people cross over, been there for days and months at the end of a person’s life, and while I would prefer that all deaths be swift and sweet, without dementia or pain, every death has been rather beautiful.

2nd, the more time you spend in the presence of death, the less you fear it. Your life will be greatly enhanced by spending time with dying people,even though you’ve been taught to avoid doing so.

3rd, death is not the enemy; snakes are. And cheese; it is addictive and irresistible. I have had 3 kinds so far today.

Anytime you investigate how scary and bad loss is, it becomes a lot less bad, and a lot less bad is a small miracle. The great paradox is that drawing nearer to death will help begin to put it in the rearview mirror.

And I promise that the people you lose here on this side of eternity, whom you can no longer call or text, will live fully again both in your heart and in your world. Tears will bathe, baptize, and hydrate you and the seeds beneath the surface of the ground on which you walk. Somehow, as we get older, death becomes as sacred as birth, and while we don’t exactly welcome it, death becomes a friend.

~Anne Lamott

why do we live wild and free? how can that be? why do we not live in fear?

inquiry for today~    pay attention to the part of you that is fearless, free of the fear of death…..how do you know this part of you?

what we long for

Death has nothing to do with going away.

The sun sets.

The moon sets.

But they are not gone.


2 thoughts on “a good death to lean into

  1. ….. or, as my dad often said (he was a lay minister in our church and he was a great one to accompany people to their last place on earth): Nobody ever told me they were afraid of death, but they are afraid of dying! And: Is there a life before death….

  2. sounds like your dad had a particular talent and was integral to their processing……funny how death lands us back in our life again and again and yet we leave again and again…..we can’t really touch death…..thanks for sharing this insight…..may you continue to ask the questions that reveal….

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