As we breathed into the truth of what had happened in our lives, safe in the protective community we built together, we began to discover that the unbearable became bearable, that by whispering “yes” instead of screaming no, an ineffable grace began to fill the space of our shattered hearts.
Try it. If you’ve tried it before, try it again. Find the smoldering ache of loss inside of you and soften into it. Allow yourself to gently and lovingly explore exactly what it feels like to hurt in this way. With compassion for yourself, disarm your wounded heart and breathe quietly inside the wreckage. No need fo fancy formulas or prescribed affirmations. No goal. Just be. Right here. Inside the fire of grief. One breath in front of the other.
there is always breath to lean into…….
inquiry for today~ how many times will you want to run away today? maybe it’s a remembering….
Mirabai encourages is to seek out the “smoldering ache of loss,” but facing that pain head-on, coming to it gently, truly feeling the intensity fo weight and shape can feel daunting. Even the idea of softening into the pain can be scary. What will you find there? If you soften into it, will you ever find your way back out?
Part of this process is learning to trust yourself. Trust is really tricky when the universe has upended itself, so I’m not talking about trust that everything will work out, or trust that you’ll do everything right. Not at all. I’m talking more about trusting that you won’t abandon yourself in your pain.
Sometimes, you just need to know that you can care for yourself. That, no matter what happens, you will show up for yourself as though you’re someone you love, caring for yourself as best you can. Doing that repeatedly helps you strengthen your trust in yourself, and that, in turn, makes it easier to face your pain directly. It lets you seek out your pain, with the intention of seeing it with compassion.
In order to go looking for your pain, to feel it directly and with love, what would it take? What would need to happen for you to feel safe or strong enough to soften into your pain? Time? Privacy? Wine? An anchor on the other side? A guarantee of outcome?