I did not know I was on a search for a passionate aliveness. I only knew I was lonely and lost and that something was drawing me deeper beneath the surface of my life in search of meaning. There is a hunger in people to touch those depths; to know that our lives are sacred; that our hearts are truly capable of love. It is a yearning to be all that we can be. A longing for what is real. There is a yearning in us for this reality. It waits like a staring cat, lies unblinking just beneath the surface as we occupy ourselves with our daily tasks. It’s a presence in our lives, something that calls to us from the very edges of awareness. Something that has been lost, or never yet found. Or perhaps something of both. This is also the story of how my soul found me, and it was a wild soul. I wasn’t prepared for how wild it was. This soul speaks different languages than I. I am used to thinking in sentences and paragraphs and she speaks in colors and sensations I don’t have a name for. Indeed, the greatest challenge of the journey entailed learning how to be receptive to her messages. These promptings were not disembodied channelings; they were grounded in my flesh……Anne Hillman
in reflecting on the purity of gratitude today, we seek out our own depths of longing…the gauzy film of hope, but it doesn’t look like hope…it’s actually quite messy and contradictory and so small most days…. but today, with a grateful and wide open heart, it’s nagging and raw and asking, where does my soul need to show up in life?…..
Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take ‘everyone on Earth’ to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale. One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both, are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do…….. Clarissa Pinkola-Estes
I love people. I love my family, my children . . .
……but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up.