the riddle of knowing God…..

1-Pics for Blog Edits18So now I was in the Hole for the first time, no light, no bed, shivering in the midst of summer in a cell that was damper and darker than the Swiss dungeon of Chillon that Byron had written about and that I had visited a couple of years earlier. ‘You won’t come out,’ they said, ‘until you agree to obey orders, all orders’…. For no reason I can explain, I began to discover how little it mattered where you are or what anyone does to you. I was sure that what I had done to get there was right and somehow the longer I was there the better I felt…..I felt warm inside and filled all over with love for everyone, everyone I knew and everyone I didn’t know, for plants, for fish, animals, even bankers, generals, prison guards and lying politicians- everything and everyone. Why did I feel so good? Was it God? Or approaching death? Or just the way life is supposed to be if we weren’t so busy trying to make it something else? From now on, no one will ever frighten or control me, on one will stop me from living to the full and loving to the full, loving everyone I know and everyone I don’t know, fighting for justice without seeing anyone as an enemy…..David Dellinger

untethered & freefalling….

Always say what you feel, and do what you think is good and right. If I knew that today would be the last time I’d see you, I would hug you tight and pray the Lord be the keeper of your soul. If I knew that this would be the last time you pass through this door, I’d embrace you, kiss you, and call you back for one more. If I knew that this would be the last time I would hear your voice, I’d take hold of each word to be able to hear it over and over again. If I knew this is the last time I’d see you, I’d tell you I love you, and would not just assume foolishly you know it already….Gabriel Garcia Marquez

something is triggered in the hopes & fears of a messy, well-lived and worn-in life…..colors are brighter, the voice of the soul sings a bit more sweetly, and ‘beingness’ outshines the ego-need of separating me from you….the inseparable heart and soul kiss in the pain of ‘suchness’……

It helps to remember that despite all struggles for identity, despite the weight of living, there is an irrepressible ounce of spirit in each of us, a wellspring we carry within, that can be blocked but not contained. It emanates through all beings as the longing for love and peace. When opening our longing, our honest want for love, we open the fountainhead of spirit, and then, like Kabir’s pitcher (Take a pitcher full of water and set it down in the water- now it has water inside and water outside.) We musn’t give it a name, lest silly people start talking again (about the body and the soul), we are water living in water, love living in love, a small thing alive in a big thing alive, a breath inside a wind…..Mark Nepo

4 thoughts on “the riddle of knowing God…..

  1. I’ve tried to capture Mark Nepo’s exact thoughts many times in poetry, words like :does the wind have a home, as it wanders the earth” …. Certainly we never know what even the next moment brings, there are Black Swans in all our lives and we should always be aware that this moment could be our last, yet trust that we will live forever … love is the binding of all things together, which you so magically represent in these three passages – I could conquer the whole world, yet without love I am nothing …

    • Jack Kornfield reiterates what the wisdom traditions pass down to us…..that we are part of the vast big sky mind…..the great mystery that is enough to be a part of……indeed, bound by love…..not a matter of finding it, a matter of opening to it….including the black swans, for they have their beauty too….your poetry is part of these traditions g.f.s….

  2. Blue, indeed life is far from perfect. Yet I can’t help but wonder who would want one that was? Our greatest joys are born of sorrow, our strength from being broken. If I have pride in anything, it is that I have lived. We both know that most regrets are the result of not having lived rather than the opposite. I would be ashamed if my life were anything more than a tattered piece of paper, complete with scratch-throughs, erasures, and misspelled words. But regardless, I will thoroughly live and love (fearlessly). Surely, human life is messy enough without ever being ashamed of loving. As always, your words push the edge of my understanding. ~ Love, Bobbie

    • and it is messy and dangerous to open to our shadows…..to honor it even….and the suffering never makes sense to our fixed and holding-on hearts…..but this fearless love your exude for life is the treasure of opening…and when we ‘can’t’ do it, that’s part of it too…..needing to be held in compassion is honorable…blessings to your wild and untamed life, Bobbie..

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