Whatever you are feeling when you lose someone or something is exactly what you are supposed to be feeling. That is healing. You will heal, you will return to wholeness. You may not get back what you have lost, but you can heal. And at some point on your journey through life, you will see that you never really had, the way you thought, that person or item you were mourning. And you will see that you will always have them in other ways. We long for wholeness. We hope that we can keep people and things just as they are, but we know we can’t. Just as there is no good without bad, or light without dark, there is no growth without loss. And odd though it may sound, there also is no loss without growth……Elizabeth Kubler Ross
a beautiful life and a beautiful death…..the sunrise and the emptiness and lessons in holding hands….nurturing growth is only part of the story….we nourish the end-breath and the spectral light and the daunting tasks of those who have gone before us….may the vigil be warm and soft and knowing……
Trust and patience combined with openness and acceptance- qualities nurtured by mindfulness practice, help us develop the necessary relationship between compassion and equanimity and learn to respond from a place that is deeper than our personality and our conceptual mind. With equanimity and compassion as inseparable companions in our work we are also less judgmental and less attached to outcomes. All too often though, our so-called strength comes from fear, not love; instead of having a strong back, many of us have a defended front shielding a weak spine. In other words, we walk around brittle and defensive, trying to conceal our lack of confidence. If we strengthen our backs, metaphorically speaking, through equanimity, and develop a spine that’s flexible but sturdy, then we can risk having a front that’s soft and open, representing choiceless compassion…….Roshi Joan Halifax
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you can contain.