the paradox of being ineffable & broken

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I cannot recall the time when I was not searching for a nameless unknown. Something Else, I called it as a child, and as that it is still known to me. The longing for it affected me most strongly at sundown, and I would weep, not allowing the grownups to comfort me, tenderly or testily, with assurances that the sun would surely rise in the morning. I knew that. But this unknown was clearly connected with it and seemed to depart with the sun.

As I grew, I learned to contain my sorrow, indeed–except at moments when an angel passed–entirely to forget it. Daily life needs its full share of the human creature’s two natures–the mind its inventions and imaginings, the heart its orchestra of feelings (oh, the drumbeats, the clarinets, the trombones!), flesh and blood their various feastings, in order to have the material to question and to know. Was it not this share that the Prodigal Son–and most of us are Prodigal Sons–set out with his portion to seek? And after, again like most of us, spending it–the revelings and the subsequent sufferings–he came at last to himself. Having forgotten, he had to remember, reminded, perhaps, by a passing angel, and knew he had to turn home…….Pamela Travers

can we do it all ourselves? can we see the unknown and then pretend that it’s all answerable? wouldn’t it all be quite nice to sift through the broken bits and pretend that it’s all ok? that it’s all just ok to be broken? bask in the dark of the sweet ineffable?

It’d be stupid to go around believing everything I see, trusting everyone I meet and trying to see the good in every situation is a complex decision.

But, what if, instead of trusting everyone and everything, you make the decision to be gentle?

To tread lightly.

To give things a chance.

Trust a tiny bit… with kindness.

Or in my case – listen to that little cricket that whispers, “this could be real” when I haven’t given something or someone enough consideration.

“Be gentle to all and stern with yourself” – St. Teresa of Avila.

I love her for saying this.

In a society that constantly reminds you to “be gentle with yourself”, to focus on feeling good – we’re not often prompted to extend the same consideration to others…

… and we are hardly ever reminded to hold ourselves accountable for how we approach the world.

Not to be so quick to judge.

…..Jes Fyal

don’t forget the basics…..

I house a complicated mind.

I am a diver of great depths. A lover of literature. A dreamer of the future. A philosopher of both the present and past. I am fascinated with life. Feelings. Change. Growth. Stability. Instability. Misfortune. People. Highs. Lows. Humanness. Rawness. Realness. Tragedy. And I am completely unapologetic. I am simply, deliciously, unapologetically complicated. I am a simple person with a complicated mind.

There is such sweetness in simplicity. Such beautiful, delicate sweetness. Accessible running water, nature, music, whole food, rich conversation, warmth, honest relationship, and genuine partnership. Are you complicated? Don’t try to huddle with the cattle if you were meant to run with the wolves.  Find your pack. You are your own destiny and the sooner you discover that, the sooner you will be fulfilled. Until then run solo. Pack light. Keep it simple. A complicated mind thrives in a simple life. Books. Writing. Exercise. Wholesome food and authentic living. Be unapologetic about your complexity. It demands no explanation. There is no solace in the complicated. The mind, the brain, genetics, physical structures and architecture, relationships, geography, and political dynamics. The complicated. The  undefinable, unexplainable, the frustrating, and the indescribable.

A simple life with a complicated mind is a rewarding life. Less becomes more. Less consumption, less things, more time, decreased chaos and increased freedom. Fewer acquaintances, deeper connections. Less words of frivolity, more words of  articulated thought. A slower pace with less choices and less demands. A simple life with a complicated mind. Life can be simple when we choose to not complicate it.  It is no wonder that writers, philosophers and mathematicians, seek solitude and a simple living. A complicated mind requires the silence required to think. To be alone. To delve silently at the wonders of the world. To shut out and filter the constant shattering noise……Sarah Voldeng

2 thoughts on “the paradox of being ineffable & broken

  1. I think you’ve touched on the real meaning of faith (of trust). There’s much I don’t know, and probably most I don’t care to……. But in my soul, I rest in knowing it will ‘all be okay’……..not because of my unrepressed desire to remain positive, but because I have faith – in someone/something bigger than me…….. It’s easy to say we have faith, but really having it is another matter. To lean naked against the wind requires a poet’s fare, and a believer’s trust. It requires faith that even if the wind fails, the wings won’t………. ~ B

    • you come from lived truth…..so beautiful and real……this faith you know and live sees the bottomless well as an abyss of nature…..perfect in its unknowing…in its unknowing we can let go……thank you for these gifts…..these poetics of nurturing….I see you wings Bobbie…..

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