the intimacy of surrender


As you get accustomed to relaxing more and more into the space of not knowing, you’ll notice a growing sense of becoming intimate with yourself, even though you don’t know what you’re intimate with. We usually think of intimacy in terms of  ‘what I am intimate with.’ This view assumes a separation between the ‘I’ and ‘what I’m intimate with.’ This isn’t the kind of intimacy that arises in the openness of not knowing. What arises in this openness is pure intimacy. It’s not a closeness with one thing or another. It’s a feeling of absolute union with every part of experience, with life itself. There was a great Zen master named Dogen who lived hundreds of years ago, and one of his definitions of enlightenment was ‘intimacy with the ten thousand things.’ So when we open to this space of unknowing, we start to feel a literal intimacy with every part of our experience. The sense of distance starts to drop away, and arising within that field of unknowing is a sense of presence. It’s a very subtle thing. The Tibetan Buddhists call this ‘self-luminosity.’ In other words, who and what we truly are knows itself. If you allow yourself to feel it, to sense it, you’ll see that this deep field of unknowing has been with you all along, that there’s literally not any moment, ever in your life, where it was absent…..Adyashanti

we naturally soften into our life with a measure of stillness about moving on deep into the flow of loosening moments….from there we look deeply into each other, mirror ourselves and bear witness to the beautiful emptiness and possibility of birth and death…..

There is no doubt that everything in us is of us; the idea of our inner work is imaginary; even the idea of God is imaginary. But there can be an indwelling. The innermost part of the soul is like a flower which opens to a receptiveness of God’s Grace; and this so far surpasses imagination that no sweetness can compare to it. When this indwelling occurs, we know the touch of the Lord in every moment; and we attend accordingly, for no one who is touched by the Lord has any wish other than to be with that touch.  Eternity is there in that touch; it is of Love, which lies outside of time. That touch is so sweet that we pray not for more of it, but for the least of it; because no man or woman who knows this sweetness dare ask for more than just a little bit of it; we are incapable of taking more. On some rare occasions the Lord may open us to take a greater part of His Love in than we are able to bear; but this isn’t to be wished for, really. To even stand on the edge of it is to be overwhelmed with awe. No man who knows his way treads so lightly or evenly into God’s arms. Grace is given in small measures for a reason…….Lee Van Laer

walking into time….a standstill…..

-when they revolutionize cocktail parties-

‘Hello, what are you afraid of?’


‘Me too.’

‘When you hear a Mahler symphony?’

‘No….when I wake up in the night.’

‘Me too.’

‘Nice meeting you.’

‘Same here.’

….Marilyn Sandberg

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