The first thing you need to do when you’ve suffered loss or betrayal is to find a way to regain your dignity and wisdom so you can bear the aching of your heart. The Zen teacher Graf Durckheim speaks of the need to go through our difficulties in a conscious and clear way:
The man who, being really on the Way, falls upon hard times in the world will not, as a consequence, turn to that friend who offers him refuge and comfort and encourages his old self to survive. Rather, he will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk himself, so he may endure the suffering and pass courageously through it. Only to the extent that a man exposes himself over and over again to annihilation, can that which is indestructible arise within him. In this lies the dignity of daring.
Sometimes we grow through suffering, loss and betrayal. The unexpected breakups that befall us deepen our capacity to lead an authentic and free life. Often by working our way through our difficulties, our ability to love and feel compassion deepens, along with the wisdom that will help us through similar problems in the future. And learning how to survive our own difficulties is one of the few things that will help us to know the right things to say and do when others whom we suffer as well.
how do we know we need to release our fears and find our way through the maze of stairwells that seemingly trap us?
inquiry for today~ edge a little closer to your problems today……check in with your intentions to live well and from a strong and gracious heart……
The problem is not that people have nothing genuine or meaningful to give. The problem involves the pain of opening the arteries of imagination and veins of genuine love that became closed and fettered early on. What tries to live through people is so big that it becomes heartbreaking for them. To become equal to the dream sewn within us, our heart must break open and usually must break more than once. That’s why they say that the only heart worth having is a broken heart. For only in breaking can it open fully and reveal what is hidden within. The deeper self is capable of great love, yet the walls around the heart are kept in place by habits hard-held by the little-self. Breaking through usually requires a practice that fits the problem and can move the heart as well as focus the mind.