in waiting……


Despite his age, he was talking fast, excited about those long gone, about their greatness and courage. Since I’d never heard of them, his eyes became a window to another world. Each name unstitched a story too complex to convey, too searing to leave alone. He sipped his tea and I realized that I will speak of him this way.We talked long into the night, and he started to drift. I moved his cane and touched his shoulder and he smiled his way back to now. I said, ‘Shall we go?’ He whispered, ‘We’re already gone.’ Then slapped his knee, ‘But it’s all right.’ I bent over to help him up when he held my head with both his hands and kissed my forehead. He then put his palm firmly on my chest and said, ‘You know.’ As we waited for his car, he smelled a weed like a flower and sighed. And still I wonder what it is I know……Mark Nepo

the cycle of the soul is full of surprises….dangers and beauty and cold winds….we are called to open from safe places…..where is the season of your soul? what dreams wrestle with you? what in your life is held up to you, like mirrors looking back?

This is what I believe.

That I am I.

That my soul is a dark forest.

That my known self will never be more than

a little clearing in the forest.

That gods, strange gods come forth

into the clearing of my known self,

and then go back.

That I must have the courage

to let them come and go.

That I will never let mankind put anything over me,

but that I will try always to recognize and submit

to the gods in me

and the gods in other men and women.

….D.H. Lawrence

where the soul drifts, life follows…..

The scholar asked his master, saying; Whither goeth the soul when the body dieth? His master answered him; There is no necessity for it to go any whither. What not! said the inquisitive Junius: Must not the soul leave the body at death, and go either to heaven or hell? It needs no going forth, replied the venerable Theophorus: Only the outward mortal life with the body shall separate themselves from the soul. The soul hath heaven and hell within itself before, according as it is written, ‘The kingdom of God cometh not with observation, neither shall they say, Lo here! or Lo there! For behold the kingdom of God is within you.’ And which soever of the two, that is, either heaven or hell is manifested in it, in that the soul standeth…..Jacob Boehme

3 thoughts on “in waiting……

  1. One of my favorite passages; ‘The kingdom of God cometh not with observation …’, No surely we will not uncover this thing, this place with the scientific method. Could you just imagine the headlines ‘science finds proof of God, closes up shop’ ! Sadly what is should be known as one is diametrically opposed … Yes Mark Nepo knows, and his humility is astounding. DH Lawrence knew and told us in many ways. He was wise to use this analogy, as the kingdom of the soul has infinite varieties, appears and diassapears in our lives in as many ways as there are breaths we take … Here’s to that clearing in the forest, may our travels take us there ever more graciously … Thank you for this work today, much though has risen up in it …

    • …and you have sparked a renewed commitment to clearing my forest…to pay attention….as I am traveling far away today, this is great time to witness heaven & hell as simply life…loosen judgment to be closer to the sacred…..wishing you soft edges today g.f.s…..

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