clearing space for fear & despair

2-Pics for Blog Edits39

There is very little difference between burying and planting. For often, we need to put dead things to rest, so that new life can grow. And further, the thing put to rest- whether it be a loved one, a dream, or a false way of seeing- becomes the fertilizer for the life about to form. As the well-used thing joins with the earth, the old love fertilizes the new; the broken dream fertilizes the dream yet conceived; the painful way of being that strapped us to the world fertilizes the freer inner stance about to unfold. This is very helpful when considering the many forms of self we inhabit over a lifetime. There is always grief for what is lost and always surprise at what is to be born. But much of our pain in living comes from wearing a dead and useless skin, refusing to put it to rest, or from burying such things with the intent of hiding them rather than relinquishing them. We live, embrace, and put to rest our dearest things, including how we see ourselves, so we can resurrect our lives anew…..Mark Nepo

every heart we meet along the way is hiding, growing, fixing, deepening, running, sleeping, craving, and giving……easing into this knowing allows us to see ourselves with tremendous kindness, to effectively discover a new softening, and to understand the paradox of deepening our longing into a more profound need to surrender……

It is in ‘letting go’ of old models, opening into ‘don’t know,’ that we discover life. It means getting out of our own way in the same manner that a healer gets out of his own way and lets the extraordinary nature of the universe manifest through him. He’s not doing anything. As a matter of fact, for a moment his self-oriented doing has ceased so that he may become a conduit for the energy of wholeness. So, too, in the openness of ‘don’t know’ we watch the healing come about. We experience the melting away of old knowings and expectations. We begin to experience the joy of simply being, in love with all that is. When we no longer cling to our knowing, but simply open to the truth of each moment as it is, life goes beyond heaven and hell, beyond the mind’s constant angling for satisfaction…….Stephen Levine

ungrieved little spaces…..

I remember lying on the hospital bed, unable to sleep. At around 3 am, an elderly nurse came in to take my vitals and look at my chart. Seeing me watching her, she leaned over and patted me gently . ‘Oh dear,’ she whispered kindly, ‘you’re feeling poorly, aren’t you?’ As she walked out tears started streaming down my face. Kindness had opened the door to how vulnerable I felt. Then a verse from Rumi came to mind: ‘Forget the future…I’d worship someone who could do that….If you can say ‘There’s nothing ahead,’ there will be nothing there. The cure for the pain is in the pain.’ All my ideas about the future receded. In their place was the squeeze of raw fear, the clutching in my heart I had been running from. The pain was tugging, tearing at my heart. Yet as my crying subsided, a sense of relief set in. It wasn’t quite peace, but the burden of being the controller, of thinking I could manage the future or fight against loss, was gone for the moment. It was clear that my life was out of my hands. Tibetan teacher Chogyam Trungpa taught that the essence of a liberating spiritual practice is to ‘meet our edge and soften.’ My edge was right here: the acute loneliness, the despair about the future, the grip of fear. I knew I needed to soften, to open. I started encouraging myself to feel what was there and soften. The more painful the edge of grief was, the more tender my inner voice became. And as I dropped into that aching hole of grief, I entered a space filled with the tenderness of pure love. It surrounded me, held me, suffused my being. Meeting my edge and softening was a dying into timeless loving presence. So little control, so many hours alone, so many rounds of vulnerability…..Tara Brach

2 thoughts on “clearing space for fear & despair

  1. and is not that the real connection…………to feel what we feel (of another)…….. There the place of the deepest compassion, the truest mercies……….letting go of everything, including love……….

    • how wise, letting go of love….to know that we are held…..I can only imagine this kind of surrender….until then…..may you know the flow of love here and there and in between Bobbie…..

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