When we think we can do it all ourselves- fix, save, buy, or date a nice solution- it’s hopeless. We’re going to screw things up. We’re going to get our tentacles wrapped around things and squirt our squiddy ink all over, so that there is even less visibility, and then we’re going to squeeze the very life out of everything. Or we can summon a child’s courage and faith and put a note with a few words into a small box in the hope that we can get our sucking, inky squid tentacles off things. Maybe after you put note in the God box, you’ll go a little limp, and in that divine limpness you’ll be able to breathe again. In many cases, breath is all you need. Breath is life. Breath is holy spirit. Breath might get you a little rest. So when we cry out Help, or whisper it into our chests, we enter the paradox of not going limp and not feeling so hopeless that we can barely walk, and we release ourselves from the absolute craziness of trying to be our own- and other people’s – higher powers.
what did you tell me that made a difference? what was that? when did I notice?
inquiry for today~ when did you forget how to let go? when did you forget your vulnerability?
I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it’s given from the heart. When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Most of us don’t value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of simply saying, “I’m so sorry,” when someone is in pain. And meaning it. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know we care. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues, until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them.
~Rachel Naomi Remen