There is a level of absence, and it is that which has not vanished, but that which has not yet arrives. We all live in a pathway in the middle of time, so there are lots of events, people, places, thoughts, experiences still ahead of us that have not actually arrived at the door of our hearts at all. This is the world of the unknown. Questions and thinking are ways of reaching into the unknown to find our what kind of treasures it actually holds. The question is the place where the unknown becomes articulate in us. A good question is something that has incredible grace and light and depth to it. A good question is something that always, in some way, plows the invisible furrows of absence to find the nourishment and the treasure that we actually need.
how we learn to allow silence to inform our space well is a great mark of kind attention….
inquiry for today~ deep pain and discomfort call us to commit to being…..what does that mean to you?
I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it’s given from the heart. When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don’t value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of simply saying, “I’m so sorry,” when someone is in pain. And meaning it.
I have even learned to respond to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues, until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to conect than the most well-intentioned words.
~Rachel Naomi Remen