how will I titrate, feel, repeat?

One of the things I have always appreciated about the Buddhism I have known is the way it has urged me to circumvent my own expectations about what an enlightened response might be in any given situation. This suggestion runs counter to my own ingrained habits of striving. I can feel how my own patients, in their initial attempts at meditation, were held back by their own particular versions of this striving. Wanting to do it for the right amount of time, wanting to make the tension disappear, and wanting to have the next meditation be as good as the last one all represented different versions of it.

This path, as Right View makes clear, was designed to help me be real with myself.

~Mark Epstein

how many lifetimes? how many remembrances?

inquiry for today~ can you show up again and again? tired, hungry, scared, lonely, fearful…..

Once I was complaining to a wise friend that I often awakened at about 2 o’clock in the morning and then could not get back to sleep. The friend asked me if I really wanted to know why I awoke. I did want to know, for the days after these sleepless nights were a grim ordeal. So he told me that God wanted to talk with me. With my watered-down liberal theological training, I thought he was making fun of me, and I said so. He replied sincerely, “God woke up Samual in order to talk to him. Why do you think that the holy One won’t speak to you in your darkness? Do you think that God has changed?

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