The universe is always speaking to us-
sending us little messages,
causing coincidences and serendipities,
reminding us to stop, to look around,
to believe in something else,
it’s about the kindness we extend to ourselves…….the vulnerability that we touch on, get burned by, and then walk on coals when we realize the power of our raw emotions to root us to inner freedom……may we step lightly into the fire……
Depression is the Most Dignified Energy of All.
……Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche
Student: What about depression? All the things you are talking about seem to be energies, emotions of energies, but a state of depression seems to be a negative energy, or absence of energy.
Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche: Depression is one of the very powerful energies, one of the most common energies that we have. It is energy. Depression is like an oxygen tank which wants to burst, but is still bottled. It is a fantastic bank of energies, much more so than aggression and passion which are kind of developed and then let out. They are in some sense frivolous, whereas depression is the most dignified energy of all.
Student: I’m not quite satisfied. You say it’s a bank of energy. How do you take the money out of the bank or does it just stay in the vault?
CTR: Well, try to relate to the texture of the energy in the depression situation. Depression is not just a blank, it has all kinds of intelligent things happening within it. I mean, basically depression is extraordinarily interesting and a highly intelligent state of being. That is why you are depressed. Depression is an unsatisfied state of mind in which you feel that you have no outlet. So work with the dissatisfaction of that depression. Whatever is in it is extraordinarily powerful. It has all kinds of answers in it, but the answers are hidden. So, in fact I think depression is one of the most powerful of all energies. It is extraordinarily awake energy, although you might feel sleepy.
Student: Is that because it wipes everything away? Could it be a kind of emptiness, a sort of doorway to meditation. I mean, in that kind of depression there is the feeling that nothing is happening at all.
CTR: Well, that’s it. That’s quite a profound thing. It has its own textures. Let’s say that you feel extraordinarily depressed, and there is no point in doing anything. You seem to be doing the same thing all over again. You give up the whole thing but you can’t. And on the whole, you are extremely depressed and trying to do something is repetitious. And trying not to do something is also irritating. Why should you do something? The whole thing is absolutely meaningless. You feel extremely down. Trying to get into the things that used to inspire you makes more depression, because you used to get off on them and you can’t anymore. That’s very depressing and everything is really ordinary, extremely ordinary and really real, and you don’t really want to do anything with it. It’s an extraordinarily heavy weight pushing down. You begin to experience that your ceilings are much heavier than they used to be, and the floor becomes much heavier than it used to be. There is a whole wall made out of lead, compressing you all over the place; there is no outlet at all. Even the air you breathe is metallic, or lead, or very thick. There is no freshness at all. Everything that depression brings is really, really real and very heavy. And you can’t really get out of it because the idea of getting out of it itself brings further depression, so you are constantly bottled and pushed in that situation and you would like to just purely sit around.
Student: So what you’re saying is that everything that I experience and everything that I think as “I-experience” is really buddhamind, experiencing itself?
CTR: Yeah, without fear. That’s the lion’s roar. That is lion’s roar*.
*According to Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, the lion’s roar is the fearless proclamation that whatever comes up in our state of mind, including powerful emotions, is workable.
……Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche
I will be waiting here,
For your silence to break,
For your soul to shake,
For your love to wake.