Nostalgia is the arriving waveform of a dynamic past, newly remembered and about to be re-imagined by a mind and a body at last ready to come to terms with what actually occurred. Nostalgia subverts the present by its overwhelming physical connection to a place, to a time in which we lived or to a person or people with whom we lived, making us wonder, in the meeting of past and present, if the intervening years ever occurred. Nostalgia can feel like an indulgence, a sickness, an inundation by forces beyond us, but strangely, forces that have also lived with us and within us, all along.
Nostalgia is not indulgence. Nostalgia tells us we are in the presence of imminent revelation, about to break through the present structures held together only by the way we not have remembered deeply enough: something we thought we understood but that we are now about to understand more fully, something already lived but not fully lived, something that was important, but something to which we did not grant importance enough; issuing not from our future but from something already experienced; something now wanting to be lived again, at the depth to which it first invited us but which we originally refused. Nostalgia is not an immersion in the past, nostalgia is the first annunciation that the past as we know it is coming to an end.
is there another way to honor the past, our memories, our forgetting?
inquiry for today~ when did you begin to strive toward perfection? how did you lose your sense of play and mercy for all that is unfinished?
Fall in love with the mess of your life ~ the shattered dreams, the broken promises, the unexpected sorrows and joys, all those hoped for tomorrows that never arrived, those beautiful plans that never came to fruition.
Sanctify the mess of your life, this wild, uncontrollable, unplanned, unexpected moment of existence.
Dignify it with your loving attention, your gratitude.
Become a mess-iah.